To Live is to Breathe
To Love is to Live –
The Fated Apparition of the Human Condition
Perched atop the rocky shores of Enders Island near the humbling, statuesque display of the Stations of the Cross while gazing upon the tranquility of Long Island Sound, I feel far from home, but close to Christ, His creation, and the realization that I am living. I am not only existing, but I am living.
As I create poetry, song, prose, and psalm while peacefully looking over the majestic castle rock wall hugging the island in protection of an open air prayer chapel adorning the shore, a misty salt-water breeze engendered by the vast Atlantic Ocean offers the oft unearned provision of unlimited vision.
So I write in futile attempt to capture the breadth of experience and I formulate word patterns to make tangible the truth of existence.
A mystical motion, the ocean’s exhale – freshly organic, certain, sublime.
Deadlines have diminished, decayed on the crowns of ocean-weathered rocks,
While urgency, but a shadow – to the reverence of tall lighthouse docks.
Time lost to question, a clock to forgo,
Ticking, beating, pulsing, I care not to know.
There’s transparency in this moment here,
Collapsing lungs, the horizon landscape, clear.
Simplicity of warmth, light, motion, sound,
Vibrant complexity, an equilibrium found.
For here, not there, I rest in tow, if freedom lies in knowledge, continue to grow.
Envisioning a future, swelled on a patient past –
Shipwrecked beaches, abandoned like a grifted cast.
I have not made a ‘list of things’ in naught but seven days,
Oh, that litanies’ lust of loathing dust, the jealous checklist garners praise.
We frame and we measure every success,
And within that structure I’ve failed the test.
As creation manifests as art, bemusement, I behold.
Wanting is not living, nor is living, forgiving –
Being present invisible to space, simple gratitude is life-giving.
Overweening pride raptures every man,
The quest to harness beauty –
An eternal fallacy to even think we can.
How I am being utterly confronted by the recognition of loneliness.
Wholeness in body within the spectacle of natural beauty –
This temporary connection to a metaphysical world brings pity.
Lost I remain, this cruel capitulation –
the limited apparition of our human condition.
The sun will rise and the sun will set, these words may dance on pages,
but here in this solemn brokenness, there’s sadness not consumed for ages.
I wish to return to the home I know – but not the one that occupies space.
As humans we crave belonging, the pinnacle desire to be loved.
The earthly wants of human touch,
Augmenting the spirit we grasp above.
Loving is missing –
Loving is smiling, it’s vision, living.
I want to return to the protective embrace –
The warmth of the man I adore.
The one who sees me barren-faced,
The man who’s helped me soar.
My busy mind he quells with ease,
Laughter fuses hearts in time.
When darkness whelms, I’m on my knees,
In absence he senses I’m all but fine.
Eyes of adulation, my spirit he sees.
Sandy numbness, love tingles my toes,
His smile, my happiness he frees.
Awaiting the touch, I’m not alone
Awaiting the serenity –
Soul meets home.